There comes a time in every man’s life where he has to start new again. Common situations that cause a new beginning are the end of a relationship, divorce, fired from a job, serious illness, closing of a business and death of a loved one. These issues are often the most difficult to overcome in life. While there are many steps to a new beginning, one of them is feeling and looking great!
1 – Accept what happened – Recognize what happened in your life that brought you to the point that you need a fresh start in life. One client told me in one month he all three of his businesses shut down, he had no money, spent all of his savings and his girlfriend of 7 years left him for new horizons. Wow! What a hit this man took. But the important thing was, he chose to stand up and take control of his life. Yes. He went through a difficult time, but he also started looking forward to life.
2 – Make Easy Goals – Sometimes you just have to start from scratch! This means making small goals that are easily achievable. First you need to eat, sleep and exercise. Finding a new place, downsizing to a studio apartment and looking for a new job is often the first steps to going forward in life.
3 – Exercise – Chances are all of the difficult times that brought you to the point of a new start hit you pretty hard. As a man, you are most likely filled with high levels of stress and anxiety trying to get your life back on track. Exercise is free if you want it to be. You can walk or jog at a local park, bicycle, hike with your dog, swim and much more. Find something active that you love to do and try to do it about four times a week. Exercise helps you fight depression, gives you something to look forward to and allows you to get out of your head for a while and just have some fun.
4 – Avoid Excessive Substances – This is where a lot of you reading this will freak out! But Wait, it’s ok. I don’t mean give up happy hour with your buddies or a beer or two at the sports bar once or twice a week. I just mean, don’t sit alone in your apartment or house drinking excessive amounts. Enjoy life, just do it in moderation.
5 – Repair Friendships – If you have just ended a relationship you might be in a situation where you lack friends. Unfortunately, when a relationship ends, the “friends” usually take one person side and ignore the other person. Especially if you were the type of guy who only hung out with “her” friends and other couples that were “her” friends. In the process of being in a relationship, it often happens that one person ignores his close buddies because they just don’t fit into “her” world. Or, “she” didn’t like them and kept you away from them. Now is your chance to get back in touch with your buddies from 2nd grade and repair friendships. Most buddies will understand what happened because chances are there was a time in their life when they did the same thing.
6 – Remove Toxic People – Sit down and think for a while, make a list. Who are your friends? Whether the list is short or long, still make the list. Think about each person and how they make you feel when you are with them. For example, is your friend Jack a positive guy that is always there for you when life gets you down? This type of friend is a keeper. Or, is your friend Rob the guy who seems to have everything in life and enjoys bragging about it every chance he gets? This type of guy actually has insecurity issues about his own character and flaws. He’s trying to mask his problems and deep issues with lots of materialistic things. He’s basically painting a picture for everyone to see that he’s just fine, when inside, he’s absolutely not ok. Try to avoid this guy, or become his friend just to show him there is more than life than money and materialistic objects.
7 – Look at Yourself – No. Not in the mirror. That will come later! 🙂 Take some quiet time for yourself and make a list of your pros and cons. Are you a kind hearted person? Do you care about people? Are you a Jerk? Are you antisocial? Do you have a bad temper? Etc… Be honest and truthful with yourself. This is your moment to pinpoint some of your issues and begin working on improvements. For example, if you suffer from a short and bad temper, which a lot of men do, go online a do some research on stress management. Speak to a therapist. Or visit a local bookstore an sit down with a cup of coffee in the self-help section and give you some therapy. Work on yourself. It’s the best investment you will ever make! 🙂
8 – Get Your Finances Together – Ouch! This is the worst task of all. Financial problems can really get you down. If you just went through a divorce, chances are you are low on funds. That divorce attorney and court fees and other obligations related to the end of your marriage will have you stressed out big time. But, take a breath and do yourself a favor. Visit your local bank where you have your bank accounts. Even if you only have .50 cents in your account. Go to the bank and sit down with a financial advisor. Most banks offer free personal bankers as long as you have an account with them. Tell the banker you are starting fresh and need advice on how to handle your finances. You will be surprised when they tell you step by step how to start rebuilding your credit, making smart investments and much more.
9 – Have Fun – “Work Hard, Play Hard” I’m sure you have heard this once or twice in your life. Well, unless you are super young. But this motto has gotten many men far in their life. Because it helps you live a balanced life. Every man works hard, but you need to enjoy life too. This doesn’t mean go out and get hammered every weekend. It means, actually enjoy life! Start in your city and find some things you enjoy doing. Hang out at the beach, lake, parks, museums, local hangouts and more. Become a regular at the sports bar once a week. Meet some new buddies that share your passion for your favorite team. Develop some new friendships. Go to the gym about twice a week and take some classes they offer. Some gyms offer martial arts classes, so check it out. You can even see what your local parks offer for free if you have a tight budget. If you love fishing and haven’t done it in a while, go find a lake or pier you can fish at. Get back into the swing of life and start genuinely enjoying yourself.
10 – Look Your Best – In Italy, there is a saying “La Bella Figura.” This translates to “A Beautiful Figure.” This is a motto most Italians in Italy live by, whether they are man or woman. When life knocks us down, we tend to look how we feel. Now is the moment you are going to look in the mirror. If you see a man staring back at you in the mirror that looks like life has beat the $*** out of him, it’s time for a makeover! It’s time to get yourself together and start shaving again, get a hair cut and wash your face. Take a shower and finally, start wearing something else than your “house” shorts. One client told me after his divorce he took a two-week vacation from work and just sat alone in his small apartment with one piece of furniture and a TV. He didn’t shower and ordered in take out everyday. He said by the time he went back to work, he gained 15 pounds and felt even worse than before. So, get up off the couch, brush yourself off and begin again my friend!
The good news is I’m here to help you out! I have watched my own brother and father go through many times in their life where they had to rebuild. Sometimes men can get really down on themselves and get really negative. Especially after your ex-wife just cleaned out your bank accounts and took all of your assets. It’s time to rebuild and you can begin by looking and feeling your best. Please follow the tips mentioned above to get you started. When you are ready to start looking your best, visit my website: Saggio Moda
I realized from watching my Dad and Brother suffer through heartbreak and loss of income. I realized that men don’t have the support system that women do. When women get dumped, lose their job and go through a divorce, their friends take them out, have fun, call and text them all the time, lend them money, buy them gifts and even have “divorce parties” to celebrate the end of a marriage. But for men, you are often alone, trying to confide in a buddy or two, which sometimes don’t have the best advice. You know that friend, the one that says some crazy stuff, makes you laugh, but you know you will either end up arrested or broke after taking his crazy advice. Yeah, try to stay away from that guy. 🙂
My brother went through a lot of harsh situations in life. One was the end of his 10-year marriage. He thought everything was perfect. He was working hard, bringing home the money, buying his wife a new car and everything she could ever dream of. And one day, he came home from work, only to find his entire house empty. She took it all! Even the pots and pans. He totally freaked out and went through a difficult time. But, I was a good sister and I encouraged him to start again. Sometimes you just need a little push. I took my brother to the mall and ran up my credit card buying him clothes, shoes and men accessories like a wallet, sunglasses etc. It was the best money I ever spent. Because we walked out of that mall with a new outlook on life. Suddenly, my brother saw a strong courageous man staring at himself in the mirror. He went out and started having fun, hanging out at the local sports bar, going to hockey games, joining a men’s baseball team in his neighborhood. Before he knew it, he was dating a new woman, enjoying life and feeling great.
Never underestimate a beauty makeover. It does wonders. I’m a personal stylist for men and I enjoy helping men create a new look. To get started with your new makeover visit me at Saggio Moda
Stay Strong! Soon you will be feeling great! 🙂